Coaches Corner

Fall 96

EFFECTIVENESS VS EFFORTFULLNESS

by Thomas J. Leonard

Each morning as I wake up, I think to myself "What can I write about or do today that will move my clients forward easily?"

This is a pretty big question and it brings up the notion of what a coach can do to facilitate their clients' growth and help them to reach their goals in half the time it might ordinarily take. Some of the things that a coach can do to accelerate their clients' success are:

1. Spend time with their clients (coaching calls).

2. Make requests, big ones.

3. Be more of a model (not for the client, but for oneself).

4. Be with the client in such a way as to "transfer" wisdom, love, knowledge, attainments kind of like the way Spock did it in the Mind Meld on Star Trek. An ultimate connection, including mind, body and soul. (We're working on this technology at Coach U! Spock had too many headaches when HE did this.)

5. Say just the right thing in the right way at the right time to the right client.

TIMING

I think we all know what it's like to do linear consulting or linear coaching -- that is, when we offer advice, or work on the solution or support the client in their decisions in a traditional way. This process works and it can work very, very well, especially when the coach focuses on WHO the client is and needs to become vs (but in addition to) WHAT the client should/can do, which is the linear portion.

But I am seeing some senior coaches move more toward a "higher degree" of coaching where they are working with clients who don't need much of the linear approach. They respond very, very well to a light touch and the bond is so solid, the coach and client develop themselves in concert vs one having to push the other. They are both very, very light on their feet. I think at some point, the senior coach will ONLY work with this type of client, which of course, means that the coach him/herself has "gotten there."

Does this make any sense at all?

The way I am attempting to tie this into the subject heading (Effectiveness vs Effortfullness) is that I think it's more important for the coach to be effective with their clients than trying to just do a great job. There is a subtlety here of language, behavior, modeling, style and grace here. I've seen it in a few coaches and I am working on it myself, where it all happens so easily and the results are extraordinary, yet both parties ain't sweatin' much.

And it ties into the notion that it's not how hard you work for/with a client or how hard they work; rather, it is how much value is being creating between both of you and in the client's life. Value does not equal effort, time or knowledge. Call it magic if you will, but that's what we're working on at Coach U.

In the meantime, you may need to work hard to get through what needs to be gotten through. It's kinda like: "Get a clue so you can be you."

(Hey, it's the middle of the night.)

THOMAS J. LEONARD, the president of Coach University, is currently traveling the country in a Winnebago on a two-year working vacation, He checks in with his virtual office & his CyberClients using his PowerBook and specially equipped payphones, writes and enjoys this beautiful country of ours, which makes him the resident expert on effortlessness!

Summer 96

BRIEF THERAPY:

a Subset of Coaching

by Marty Crouch

Last month, in an article entitled "Differences Between the Therapist and the Coach," Lee Smith and Madelyn Griffith-Haney distinguished between therapy and coaching. Lee and Madelyn used a traditional dynamic model of therapy for comparison. Other types of therapy, based on different models, are distinguished somewhat differently from coaching.

The trend in therapy is toward fewer sessions. The oxymoron, "brief-psychoanalysis," has even appeared in print. Brief therapy, lasting anywhere from one to a dozen sessions is preferred by insurance companies that pay for therapy, and by a majority of clients as well. In response, therapists have attempted to find ways to shorten all the various therapy models. Techniques including hypnosis and rapid eye movement, are increasingly used to more rapidly achieve therapeutic results.

SOLUTION-FOCUSED BRIEF THERAPY

Strictly speaking, brief therapy means therapy that lasts one to a few session. Solution-focused brief therapy is probably the most widely practiced model. Characteristics of this model are:

1. therapy is focused on a key problem or issue,
2. the issue is expressed in clear behavioral terms,
3. solutions, not symptoms and causes, dominate the discussion,
4. the counselor asks for client activity, not passive suffering,
5. the counselor is active, directive, empowering, and
6. the counselor and client work in a time-limited context.

The brief therapy process is summarized by:

1. Face-to-face sessions.
2. Help client describe the problem or issue in behavioral terms.
3. Help client describe desired result or solution.
4. Encourage client to visualize solution.
5. Help client reframe or reorient to problem system.
6. Prescribe tasks to alter the system.
7. Monitor progress and terminate when solution achieved or when time is up.

COACHING

With the exception of the time limit, brief therapy fits within the coaching model. Like brief therapy, coaching identifies problems, develops values-based goals, and emphasizes client action. The best coaches are active and empowering. The most significant difference between brief therapy and coaching is that brief therapy is much more limiting.

The coaching process is summarized by:

1. Meetings conducted by phone, sometimes in office, or on the Internet.
2. Usually start with an immediate problem or issue.
3. Request client to clarify values and match future goals and outcomes to those values.
4. Request client to develop action-oriented solutions to immediate problem or issue.
5. Encourage client to go beyond previous standards for self-care, goal setting, achievement.
6. Request client to move into action by reinforcing future goals and planning action steps toward goals.
7. Assist client to identify and acquire the needed resources, expertise, assistance, to develop more success.
8. Request client to monitor progress and assist in removal of emotional or physical blocks to further progress.
9. Request client to develop reserves in all areas of their lives.

MORE COMPARISONS

Brief therapists use several techniques of potential interest to coaches. One is quick assessment. The therapist will attempt to immediately elicit whether the client is indeed a customer, as opposed to a window shopper, a captive, a story teller, or a perpetual victim. Deliberate questions for the visit, and what the client expects from therapy are used to guide this assessment. Until the client is a willing customer, therapy won't be productive.

The coach also uses quick assessment. The coach wants to identify and refer those with mental health issues (like major depression, post traumatic stress disorder, bipolar affective disorder, and personality disorders) to a therapist. The coach will look for the willingness to be coached and the ability to handle the client responsibilities.

The brief therapist will often use a miracle question, "if a miracle happened during the night, and your problem was solved, what would be different tomorrow?" This approach helps focus on the attributes of the system that the client really wants. The miracle question would also serve well with some coaching clients.

As the problem system is discussed, the therapist will pay particular attention to any exceptions that already exist. The therapist may ask, "Is there ever a time when you and Mrs. Smith communicate well and feel good about each other. If so, when is that, and what is different about those times?" Identifying and reinforcing exceptions to the problem system changes the setup to produce different results.

Coaches generally rely on the client to develop there own values, goals, and action steps. Coaches work with high-functioning individuals who are quite capable of the necessary insight and planning to do this. The technique of identifying exceptions may still be helpful to help a client problem-solve a stuck place.

Occasionally therapists use a paradoxical directive, sometimes called prescribing the symptom. In this case, the client is asked to do the opposite of what is most desirable. For example, if the problem were lack of marital communication, the therapist might say, "I want the two of you to go home and avoid talking to each other for four days. You aren't allowed to look or smile at each other, and above all; you are not to have sex." This directive attempts to invite client rebellion by setting up a ludicrous assignment.

Coaches often use a more subtle form of the paradoxical directive, "Well Mr. Smith, I guess you are just going to have to keep on yelling at your employees for awhile longer until you get that this isn't working."

Brief therapists are encouraged to build rapport quickly, use humor judiciously, and speak in short messages. They can't afford to tolerate long woeful tales and excuses. Coaches also tend to be minimalist in their comments and tolerance for long client tales of woe.

Some therapists take a five minute break midway through the brief therapy session to collect their thoughts. They then return to present to results of their careful thinking or consultation. This is particularly true when the session is being observed by a team or supervisor behind the one-way mirror. Coaches are encouraged call clients again after the end of a session if something important comes to mind.

DEVELOPMENT - THE BIGGEST DIFFERENCE

With client cooperation, coaches use specific problem systems as a starting place to request that clients upgrade all areas of their lives. Their underlying premise is that people are at their best when they have exquisite self-care, generous reserve of time, money, and energy, absence of unhealthy stress, resolved and peaceful interpersonal relations, and so forth. Thus coaching has the potential of going far beyond where brief therapy stops.

Coaches are also allowed to develop with their clients. We admit that our relationship is inter-developmental; we don't have all the answers for our clients.

Marty Crouch is a coach and web master. He may be reached at home on the web.

Spring 96

DIFFERENCES Between the THERAPIST and the COACH

Madelyn Griffith-Haynie & Lee Smith, Ph.D.

It's easy to see the similarities. There is a practitioner/client relationship, with the focus of both on the functioning of the client. Both practitioners listen and reflect on what is said. Both help with empowerment. Both develop relationships with their clients that are central to the alliance. Both accept the client at wh

FEELINGS vs ACTIONS

A therapeutic untangling of unconscious conflicts allows the patient many more choices. A Coach works with the client: to identify, prioritize, implement and actualize choices made. Therapy patients might talk about actions as a way of avoiding feelings. Coaching clients would be more likely to talk about feelings as a way of avoiding actions.

Therapy works with:

a. People who are dealing with dysfunctions that are quantifiable, like depression, anxiety, disassociation, addictions, schizophrenia, etc. b. People who are dealing with old pain, old issues, or current traumas in their lives. c. People who are having difficulty functioning and don't know *why*.

Coaching works with:

a. People who are healthy and happy with their lives in general. b. People who are designing their future based on having a strong personal foundation. c. People eager to move forward to a higher level of functioning: who want to double their income, have more joy in life, get the most out of business and life pursuits, etc. and are unsure *how*.

APPROACH

Therapy model:

a. Mandatory face-to-face sessions. b. Usually does not give advice. Does not tell the patient what to do. c. Helps the patient resolve old pain and cut through old defenses (coping mechanisms). d. Helps patient correct cognitive disorders. e. Teaches how to be less reactive by changing behaviors. f. Listens for feelings, conflicts, and symptoms of underlying dysfunction and reflects those back to the patient. Will follow the patient on any valid exploration of feelings.

Coaching Model:

a. Meetings usually conducted by phone, sometimes in office, or on the Internet. b. Advising is part of Coaching and comes in many forms, making large "requests" for making dramatic advancements in life. At the same time the Coach is unattached to the outcome of those requests and is careful not to give advice outside of their own expertise. Refers out for therapy needs, medical needs, accounting needs, legal needs, etc. c. Helps the client learn new skills and tools for building and growing business, career, life. d. Helps client get clear on values (what is important to them) and matches future goals and outcomes to those values. e. Encourages and requests pro-active behavior. f. Listens for language, blocks, needs, values as clues for how to get the client into action. Reflects actions back to client, and problem solves. Does not allow for large amounts of negative time.

THE RELATIONSHIP

Therapy model:

a. Therapist/patient relationship is an alliance totally related to the knowledge of the patient's issues. The growth of the therapist is not an issue. b. Patient is not allowed to know the personal details of the therapist's life. c. Encourages transference alliance as a way of objectifying issues to be explored. d. Strong boundaries involving stated legal and ethical limits and guidelines. e. Vacations are treatment issue -- the way in which abandonment/separation issues are played out. The patient's handling of the time before, during and after vacations provides useful therapeutic insights for interpretation and clarification. Therapist has backup for patient emergencies during vacation. f. The therapist is required to handle patient emergencies.

Coaching Model:

a. Coach/client relationship is an equal partnership, an interdevelopmental relationship where the Coach puts client first during the call. Many times Coach experiences personal growth simultaneously with client. b. Coach shares relevant personal information while guiding client toward understanding and growth. c. Discourages transference alliance as inappropriate. Reinforces position as Coach vs. parent, teacher, etc. d. Awareness of stated boundaries. Relationship boundaries stated by both parties. High level of ethics in place. e. Vacations are not an issue, except for scheduling and homework, any more than they would be with dentist or a CPA. A request for backup would be discussed as a possible reason to refer to therapy. f. No emergencies.

TOOLS

Therapy

a. Two main tools: confrontation & interpretation, to deal with transference, blocks, conflicts, fears, phobias, basic self-esteem issues, etc.

Coaching

a. Toolchest (requests, challenges, messages, distinctions, languaging, information and contacts) to deal with blocks to action:-"shoulds", inappropriate values/goals match, lack of information or training, lack of personal relating skills, insufficient network, low "havingness" level, etc.

Not everyone is ready for Coaching. The client must be ready, willing and able to be in action. Clients who are not ready are encouraged to find a therapist or a 12-step group and to come back to coaching at another time. Rapid growth is possible because conflict resolution has already been handled. Therapy is often a slower process because major psycological underpinnings are being carefully brought to light for examination. Most Coaches are not trained therapists and most therapists are not trained Coaches.

It has been said that therapy moves a person from dysfunctional to functional and coaching moves a person from functional to extraordinary. A useful analogy is that of a house with a leaky basement. The leaks must be located and repaired and the major water damage cleaned up before the basement can be restored. Restoration must be accomplished before the basement can become a really great rec-room. Coaching doesn't come into play until last-stage restoration work is behind you. Your Coach helps you design the rec-room to be perfect for your lifestyle. And once the rec-room is ready, your Coach helps you plan the party!

LEE SMITH, Ph.D., is a Coach in Dallas who has made her life's work the business of helping people optimize their personal and professional lives. Her coaching clients have benefited from her years of experience in both business and counseling. She works directly with clients and mentors other coaches and can be reached at 214/701-8040 or on-line as LeCoach@aol.com.

MADELYN GRIFFITH-HAYNIE is an ADD Coach who had been living in New York City at the time of this article, but who has since relocated to Knoxville, TN. She is on the trainer team and advisory board of Coach U. and leads teleclasses and workshops through Optimal Functioning, a company dedicated to helping ADDults develop systems to reach their goals and live their dreams. She is listed with the American Coaching Association (formerly NCN) and can be reached online as mgh@addcoach.com or at (423) 524-9549.

SIZE UP AND DISCERN YOUR NEW CLIENTS, IMMEDIATELY!

NEW COACHES CORNER TIP

by Thomas J. Leonard, Founder, Coach U

Often, a new coach is so eager to work with a new client that they don't take the time to properly peg, discern or label the new client. As a result, 2-3 months can go by before the coach "catches on" to some pretty important stuff about the client and the coaching relationship that exists.

Here are some questions to ask yourself (and even of the client) before you start, or immediately after starting, your coaching with them.

1. Does this person have enough emotional strength to make big changes in their life right now?

2. Am I just another professional that this person is going to "go through," yet not really benefit from?

3. Am I being related to as a coach, or a parent, friend, sibling, colleague, consultant, librarian or "the solution to their problems?" 4.

How much action are they taking to become more successful, right away?

5. Am I concerned/worried/frustrated with this client?

6. What are the problems we are going to have in our relationship within 6 months?

7. What is this client bringing out in ME?

8. How can I best serve this client?

9. What should our Number One focus be? Why?

10. What's the lever, trimtab, pivot point, access point, truth that needs to be touched/dealt with immediately so that this client can leap forward quickly?

THOMAS J. LEONARD is the President of Coach University, a virtual training and development firm for coaches of all types. He can be reached online as president@classoncall.com.