This fable can help you re-center whenever you are struggling with "listening from belief" - vacillating between "believing we know what's BEST for another and acting from that 'knowledge' for 'the good of all concerned'" vs. "meeting clients where they ARE" (At least it works for ME!)

[Coaching Skill: being "responsible for the listening" - locating all assumptions, advice and action from the paradigm of another -- mgh ]

Enjoy the article - and check back from time to time for new ones -- some with practical advice, some with coaching skills, some idealistic, motivating or poetic, and some just to make you laugh.

Sincerely,

Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, A.C.T., MCC

co-founder of the ADD Coaching Field
founder of ADDCoach.com™ and
The Optimal Functioning Institute™
<http://www.addcoach.com/mgh>

usually signing off with

xx,

mgh

A FABLE FOR OUR TIMES -- mgh version

An aging farmer owned an aging mule who stumbled and fell into the aging farmer's aging well. The farmer was alerted to the mule's dilemma when he heard the mule 'praying' - or whatever it is that mules do when they fall into wells.

The farmer deeply sympathized with the old mule and worried about what to do Prior to taking action, he thought carefully and long, looking first from one point of view and then another and then back again (always careful to give exactly as much time to the view from each).

After long deliberation - the farmer ruminating diligently as the old mule continued "praying" in a similarly diligent manner - the farmer eventually came to the fair and impartial conclusion that that neither the mule nor the well was worth the considerable trouble of saving. You see, they were both quite old indeed and each had already had quite a long run of usefulness.

Eventually he felt comfortable that he had reached the right decision, a fair and impartial decision, a decision that incorporated the needs of ALL -- since he was, in fact, a very fair and ethical farmer who endeavored sincerely to treat all his animals fairly and ethically.

He called his neighbors together and told them what had happened. They convened a committee to weigh in on all sides of the issue. They came to a consensus that the aging farmer's decision was indeed fair and impartial and absolutely correct (since they ALL agreed, after all!) They banded together to haul dirt to fill up the well to put the aging mule out of his misery.

Initially, the old mule was hysterical!

As the farmer and his neighbors shoveled, as the dirt hit the old mule's back, a idea struck that mule out of the blue. It suddenly dawned on him that every time a shovel load of dirt landed on his back ... he needed to shake it off and STEP UP! This he did, blow after blow.

"Shake it off and step up... shake it off and step up ... shake it off and step UP!" he repeated aloud -- to encourage himself to focus on his decision rather than succumbing to feelings of panic or pain each time a shovel full of dirt and rocks hit his back.

To the farmer and his friends, that sounded an awfully lot like the praying that alerted the farmer to the mule's dilemma initially -- that thing that mules do when they fall into wells. They interpreted the mule's "obvious distress" as a clear signal of the appropriateness of their decision. They worked even harder - positive that what was called for was an intensification of their efforts to put the mule out of his misery!

Nobody remembers anymore why nobody took the time to revisit the initial judgment in light of the mule's obvious displeasure at the idea of being buried alive -- but they did ALL agree, doncha' know, which allowed them to pick up the pace without the distraction of "second-guessing" or the considerable time it would take to dig out the well NOW.

No matter how painful the blows, or how distressing the situation seemed, the old mule fought "panic" and just kept right on shaking it off and stepping up.

He intensified his praying to keep himself focused on the task at hand rather than his panic at the increasing pace of the efforts of the farmer and his friends attempting (in that "tough love" manner humans like to use to justify unloving actions) to put the mule out of his misery. They, in turn, shoveled all the harder in response.

So it wasn't so terribly long before that old mule, to the amazement of the farmer and his friends, battered and exhausted from the effort and the praying and the pace, stepped triumphantly over the wall of that darn well! What seemed like it would bury him, actually helped him ... all because of the manner in which he handled his adversity.

THAT'S LIFE! If we face our problems and respond to them positively, refusing to give in to panic, bitterness, or self-pity, the adversities that come along to bury us usually have within them the very real potential to benefit us!

Source you life from your STAND not your circumstance!
Never let consensus determine YOUR truth. - - mgh

"Never be afraid to try something new.
Remember, amateurs built the ark.
Professionals built the Titanic." -- source unknown.

Coaching tip: If you want to remove the obstacles to DOING what you decide, check out The Challenges Inventory Curriculum. Open to coaches, parents, partners, ADD professionals and ADDULTs.

Intro begins February 28 at 8:00 PM EASTERN. Download the pdf catalog by clicking HERE.(If you don't already have Adobe Acrobat Reader, you can get it here)