Editor's Chair

Winter 97

My dear ones,

I have so enjoyed getting your Christmas cards and I hope that you NEVER stop sending them to me. Those of you who have been to my house at Christmas time have seen the nine foot garland festooned with cards that decorates my hallway and know the delight I take in them. Since my birthday sends November out with a flourish, the birthday cards lead the way on garlands outside my bedroom door. By mid-December, the Christmas Card Garland is as impressive, with more and more cards added right up until New Years Eve Day, the day most of the late senders seem to pick as the last one acceptable for the arrival of a Christmas card.

Every year I swear that I will get mine out in time. Each passing year reinforces the ADD timewarp I live in -- I always underestimate the time it takes to accomplish a task and overestimate the amount of time I have to do it in. Couple that with a total lack of regard for the number of accomplishments possible by one individual in one day, and the sheer magnitude of the items on my very long list, and yet another year passes with the cards gathering dust and losing the appeal that made me buy them at the time.

The universe seems to have decreed that December will not be the time that I reach out to touch the ones I love. Even my PPP won't connect! In yet another attempt at putting yet another band-aid on this mouldy technology I have grown to depend on with less and less validity, I did a clean system reinstall. Two days later I could finally use the computer again, after numerous fruitless phone calls and trips through MACS for DUMMIES to try to get the darn thing to boot from the CD ROM. I finally got back "in" to repair what I had "fixed".** But somehow I have wiped out some little file that makes telecommunications work, and MacTCP won't connect -- so I am unable to send the slightest missive until next year. I begin this to you all knowing that it will be 1997 before it goes out through the ether, and console myself with the idea that Twelfth Night Greetings or Valentine notes would be festive and welcomed.

**Should anyone else completely overwrite *your* system file with a version that is incompatible and need to boot from *your* CD, hold down command-option-shift-delete all at once to persuade your little Mac to ignore the normal boot order and bypass the harddrive. I am not kidding.

Make sure you have nothing in your A drive, however, or you will get a decidedly UNhelpful error message and no boot-up. And, of course, you must continue to push the CD back in its little pocket with every restart until the smiling Mac gives way to a truly ugly desktop that somehow, under the circumstances, is the most beautiful thing you will ever see.

Technology! The great timesaver that sometimes swallows time tail first. Yesterday's luxury is the day before yesterday's necessity and today's toleration.

Other than that little bit of drama this holiday season was blissful. Nodding off at every opportunity (including the Christmas dinner table!) I finally discovered, upon awakening one morning without feeling like I was recovering from major anesthesia for the first time I can remember since I was young enough to sleep in a tent and find it exciting rather than peaceful, that my life-long sleep disorder might possibly be life-long sleep deprivation.

Duh. You don't have to hit me in the head for more than a few whacks to get my attention! Bedtime. What a concept! If you go to bed BEFORE you can no longer hold both eyes open at the same time, you fall asleep easily, sleep soundly and awaken more readily. Not to mention earlier. ADD is a wonderful gift -- it leaves one so many discoveries until adulthood. What a shame to waste all the good lessons on the young.

Before I hear from my parent's friends that SURELY my folks did not allow me to stay up all night, let me say that they did, in fact, insist on a bedtime. Eight pm. Wee Willy Winky was coming and I needed to be lying down with my eyes closed for a reason that continues to baffle me to this day.

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT AN 8 PM BEDTIME IS TO A YOUNG ADDer?!!! Torture. Four straight hours of unendurable boredom in the dark. And that, well intended though it was, was the way I spent my youth for the first 12 years of my life, SWEARING I would *never* go to bed when I had my own house. I'm very good about keeping promises to myself, so there you have it.

Like the tree promise.

Remember those horrendous white bottle-brush Christmas trees that every family scrapbook has at least one picture of? It is generally standing in front of some fiberglass curtains with blunted-corner geometric shapes in colors that often include brown and orange and near a coffee table looking a little like a large tri-cornered hat flattened onto a tripod.

Well, my parents decided that it made good economic sense to forgo the live green tree while living in Florida while my father sent animals up in rocketships. DECADES in kid years! NEVER in my own house!! I will ALWAYS have a Christmas tree.

But this was a work-'round-the-clock year for me and I kept myself going with the promise that I would allow myself ease at the end of December. I was simply too tired to trudge down to Broadway and wrestle a live tree for half a mile. Remember, we don't have cars in Manhattan and NO taxi stops for an 8-foot Christmas tree. I hung the garland (fake, but a good fake) and the wreathes (ditto) -- decorated them with ribbons of velvet burgundy and forest, and glass balls of burgundy and pewter and pink, and bubbles of light frozen in time by some magician who happened upon them blown after a rainbow, and baby's breath and eucalyptus, and an opulence of grapes and lady apples and pine cones, and tiny packages in paisley papers. I played the music -- Gregorian Chants and Madrigals and Consorts and Dances of Sugar Plum Fairies. I lit the candles and scented the potpourri in the wicker sleigh pulled by the topiary reindeer. I hung the stockings. Every stocking I have ever received in my entire life and some others I've purchased. And promised myself a fireplace.

But no tree. For once December 24th has passed and energy has begun to return there are no tree vendors inviting me to try tree-wrestling.

And I was sorry.

I was sorry as I stared into tree lit windows and sorry as I passed the curbs where the scrooges had delivered their denuded trees, the first moment the holiday had passed, to the fate of the garbage collectors. Sorry that there were no trees to buy for my house. No trees to buy. No trees to BUY!

HA!! As I carefully worked my new find into the elevator on New Year's Eve day I smiled at the befuddled college student who commented that he usually saw people taking trees out to the garbage on New Year's Eve day rather that bringing them in. "I know," I winked as the elevator stopped on my floor and my tree and I danced through it's doors nanoseconds before they closed on us, "Where do you suppose I got this one?"

I joyfully decorated my tree on January 3 (remember my EASE promise), and can probably celebrate until Valentine's Day if I don't turn on the heat!

Happy New Year! I hope that you have Christmas until Valentine's Day too.

Much love, mgh

PS. Speaking of Valentine's Day, OFI's artist-in-residence, Janine Baker, tells me that there is some evidence she is following that leads her to believe that Cupid has ADD. Set your web-browser to http://www.addcoach.com after January 20th, when we will publish the results of her research. For those of you who missed her ADD version of The Night Before Christmas (A Visit From St. What's His Name), we will reprise it next year.

xxx, mgh

Fall 96

PASSING FOR NORMAN - No, Andrea Krapf Little (Annie12345) does not attempt to fool us all by dressing as a man (but you knew that, right?). Your ADD editor sent two versions to be posted to the list to see which could be sent most easily to the most places: one in smaller files and one with the complete issue in one file. Due to some last minute changes, one version was inadvertently edited slightly differently than the other. Then the final proof was performed on the entire file. Guess which version got sent to you? Yep, the unproofed one! But you knew that too, right? Sorry Annie. Thank goodness the *real* title, PASSING FOR NORMAL, was repeated further down, so the readers did not have to wait for this apology to understand your intent and my blunder. Ooops!

THE OLGA AFFAIR -- As most of you know, someone managed to "hack" through the password protection on our MajorDomo account and sent a letter to the entire subscription list about some Russian singles service. We still haven't caught the offender, and likely never will, but s/he managed to do his/her dirty work to every list on the entire server before going on to other servers as well.

Boy did we get letters! Many of you sent supportive ones, many of you were curious, some of you thought I had lost my mind, a surprising number of you thought it was somehow your fault, and a few of you were angry. All very typical ADD impulsive responses to a strange situation and every letter cherished as an example of this community I so love. I have chronicled the process in this month's LETTERS

PHYSICIAN IN RESIDENCE -- We are thrilled to announce that, starting next month we will be joined by Dr. Paul T. Elliott, a family physician in the Dallas, TX, area with 20+ years' experience treating ADD in adults and children. He will be writing articles for us as well as handling some of your questions from time to time. When writing to the good doctor, put ATTN: DR. PAUL in the subject line, and send it to support@addcoach.com

OFN LIBRARIAN SOUGHT - I have gotten more mail than you can imagine asking me about back issues and for special requests.. Alas, my volunteer staff is stretched far too thin already and can handle nothing beyond the monthly compiling & emailing of the newsletter itself. I know it seems that *your* request would only take five minutes to handle, and perhaps it would, but if you multiply that by the number of requests we get per month and add that to the emails that go back and forth to fill the issues and the subscription requests that still get sent here, it represents more time than my volunteers can put in and still have jobs and lives.

The only way this could be made possible would be for some dear soul to join us as volunteer librarian. You would be the keeper of the back issues and would handle requests for them (which would come directly to you), as well as the odd "I accidentally erased it" or "My file came garbled" request. The hours are long and the pay is non- existent, but you will sleep soundly with the knowledge that ADDers everywhere are getting their newsletter. Who could resist such a deal?

Quite seriously, I estimate no more than 1.5 to 4 hours per week for this piece. Anyone interested please email support@addcoach.com. Please place LIBRARIAN in the subject line so I can find it quickly. You need to be computer and email saavy so that you can hit the ground running with very little time spent explaining how to function. Ultimately, back issues will be posted on the ADD Websight that we are developing with Coach University, so this would be a six month commitment only.

Anybody out there wanna help Henny Penny bake bread?

OFN ROADSHOW -- The Optimal Functioning Institute is developing a series of seminars and workshops for the ADD Adult which will ultimately be delivered across the United States.

For those of you who live in New York City, you can get a tiny taste of what's to come at the Thursday, September 14 meeting of the WEST MANHATTAN ADD ADULT SUPPORT GROUP where I will be speaking, along with Hal & Susan Meyer of The ADD Resource Center.

The group is run by Paul Jaffe (editor extraordinaire of ADDendum) and is held at the West End Collegiate Church (245 W. 77th Street). The group starts at 6 pm, and the presentation, ADD Coaching: Theory and Practice, will happen from 7 to 9.

For more information call : 914-476-0965 or 914- 378-3295 (meeting info only), or write: ADD Support Group, Box 1048, Yonkers NY 10702

MORE TRAVELING NEWS -- I will be in Houston August 24th through the 28th to attend Thomas J. Leonard's Coaching Skills Workshop at the Doubletree Hotel. Will I see any of you there? Please introduce yourselves -- I'd love to meet you. The seminar itself is on Saturday and Sunday (26,27), and there is still time to make a reservation by calling 1- 800-48COACH. Remember to mention OFN to take advantage of any discounts. (FYI: the workshop is in New York September 23-24, and Ft. Lauderdale Oct. 6-7)

I WANT MY 15 MINUTES! -- Many of you have responded that you would like to write something for OFN. We'd love it. Here's what you do: write a short synopsis of the content and point of view of the proposed article and email it to support@addcoach.com. Put the words PROPOSED ARTICLE in the subject line.

We'll get back to you to say, "go for it!" or we'll ask if you would be willing to redo it to fit a specific issue requirement. You know our style by now -- upbeat, positive, humorous if possible.

We're actively seeking first person submissions for FROM THE SIDELINES and TALES FROM THE FRONT. You don't need a synopsis for those. Just send them to support@addcoach.com and put the words SIDELINES or FRONT in the subject line, depending on which applies. It's amazingly validating to see your story in print.

If you have information you would like to share, questions to ask, stories to tell, suggestions to make, conferences, services and support groups to announce, or a real itch to get involved creating our web playground, please email me at support@addcoach.com. There are exciting things happening in our field and I love the energy that comes from creating in community. You are all invited to the party.

Until next month, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie

Summer 96

Welcome to our summer vacation issue. Rather than fight the tight deadlines that would have been imposed by scheduling around everyone's vacation, we decided to shape this issue kinda' like summer vacation itself -- loosely structured and unhurried.

Last month was fraught with challenge. I learned more about sending mail through internet gateways then I ever wanted to know. For example, each different service has it's own rules about optimum file length and what characters are permitted in the subject line, and I got enough returned mail to keep me overworked for a month.

In the middle of all of it I began to have computer troubles that we never did figure out, but seem to have been relatively healed by some source. Maybe something we did, maybe everyone's energy and attention on the matter. (Don't 'ya just LOVE technology!?)

Mogens Gilmour, the Coach University Webmaster (god bless his little heart!) came to my rescue by setting us up on a listserve account, which is an automated way of sending a lot of email at once without a lot of human interaction. As we learn its particular quirks, further issues will become easier to distribute, with fewer and fewer transmission errors. None too soon, since our subscriber base is growing every day and soon would be a full time job to handle manually.

Thank you to all of you who returned your subscriber information. My commitment is to be a resource to the community, so it is invaluable to know a little about the particular community I am serving. The form will be included in every issue from now on, with instructions on how to cut and paste it into an email to addcoach@aol.com It is not necessary to send more than one. Unless you unsubscribe yourself, you will continue to receive OFN (shorthand for the Optimal Functioning Newsletter).

I was thrilled by the letters of support and congratulations that flooded my mailbox. Although the volume of mail precludes my sending thank yous to each of you individually, please know that they were eagerly read and appreciated.

The letters to the editor poured in too. Many of them duplicated questions or requests, so I will take editorial license and cut and paste among them as I reply. If you recognize only part of your letter, someone else is recognizing only part of theirs. Hopefully, the reply will include all of your concerns on the issue. The problem that occurred when Sunshine sent her response to all of you, how to handle the sheer length of the newsletter, and the subject of themes for upcoming issues are all included in Letters to the Editor

If you have information you would like to share, questions to ask, stories to tell, suggestions to make, conferences, services and support groups to announce, or a real itch to get involved creating our web playground, please email me at support@addcoach.com. There are exciting things happening in our field and I love the energy that comes from creating in community. You are all invited to the party.

Until next month, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie

Spring 96

Welcome to our premiere issue.

It is an exciting time to be a part of either the Coaching revolution or the ADD revolution, and to be involved in both at once is my idea of a great time!

The weeks and months to come will see a lot of changes in the way the ADD community relates to Coaching and in the way the ADD Coaching community relates to itself.. In his speaking engagements following the publication of Driven to Distraction, co-authored with John Ratey, Ned Hallowell endorsed coaching as one of the single most effective techniques in ADD management. Suddenly, thousands of people were asking, "What is coaching? How do I get a coach?"

Practices of existing Coaches began to fill, new Coaches began to hang out shingles, and peer coaching groups began to be organized with a velocity that could not have been imagined a year ago. In one short year, the ADD community has stopped asking the question "What is coaching?" The questions I hear on-line are focused on finding a coach, endorsing a coach, or forming a coaching network.

The ranks of ADD Coaches are swelling. And the conversations I hear from my Coach colleagues include qualifiers ("How do you make sure you find a *good* coach?'), which lead into conversations about credentials for coaches, training for coaches and certification for coaches.

Coach University, a virtual training and development organization for coaches of all types, and The Optimal Functioning Institute, a company dedicated to helping ADDults develop systems to reach their goals and meet their dreams, have decided to become part of the solution. In September we will be offering the first of six four-week training modules for Coaches who want to specialize in ADD Coaching.

In addition, Coach U. has made the very generous offer of unlimited space for an ADD Coaching site on their WEBSIGHTS, the first and only coaching forum on the World Wide Web. We are busily preparing our premiere efforts in that arena as well, and hope to be functioning by the end of the summer.

Our ADD Web library will house every issue of The Optimal Functioning Newsletter, resource lists and biographies of professionals in the ADD field, an ADD bibliography cross indexed by title, author and subject, and comprehensive lists of support groups, professional organizations and public programs. A New and Noteworthy section will keep you up to date on advancements in both the Coaching and ADD fields and the Coaches Corner will allow us to network with each other and introduce us to individuals looking for a Coach.

We are considering hyperlinks to the other ADD sites, and a quick and easy way to "beam me back, Scotty" to all of the wonderful stuff available in the ADD community on America On-Line. If you are looking for something about ADD, our site will either tell you about it or tell you where to go to find out about it.

This newsletter is our outreach, and will provide the means of keeping in touch with people who are still not ready to "surf the 'net" but are fully comfortable with email. It will provide a vehicle for Coaches to share their ideas and techniques with the community at large, and a touchstone for all of us as we explore this arena together. In true ADD fashion, we publish on the last day of every month

Wanna play with us???????

If you have information you would like to share, questions to ask, stories to tell, suggestions to make, conferences, services and support groups to announce, or a real itch to get involved creating our web playground, please email me at support@addcoach.com. There are exciting things happening in our field and I love the energy that comes from creating in community. You are all invited to the party.

Until next month, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie