Did My Ritalin Stop Working?
by Cynthia Hammer

Last week my ADD surfaced with a vengeance, and many behaviors that I had been adequately controlling or coping with were back! Although the up-beat song by the Rondelleís, "My Boyfriend's Back," kept going through my mind, as I sang, "My ADD's Back," in fact, I wasn't feeling the least bit cheerful about it! What was going on? What was going wrong? Why was I back to a disorganized office so I felt the need to apologize for its appearance? Why was I losing things that only moments before I had in my hand? How come I was forgetting important items I needed to purchase and spending an hour wandering around Ernst's, hoping the thing I needed to buy would occur to me? Where was the list I had made earlier? How come it hadn't made it's way into my purse where it should have been. And more importantly, why was I wasting an hour browsing when I had so many pressing things to do?

If you are impatient and like to "cut to the chase, you are advised to proceed immediately to the last paragraph of this article. There you will learn my theory about why ADD can, on occasion, spin out of control. The rest of you (is there anyone reading this who isn't impatient?) can read and learn about the techniques I have put in place over the years that makes my ADD livable, and, most of the time, enjoyable. (After all, this is the page that focuses on coping techniques.)

Prior to getting my ADD diagnosis three years ago, and starting on Ritalin, I had put a number of coping techniques in place. Kate Kelly, co-author of I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy ), called the process I put myself through, "Pulling oneself up by the boot-straps." It was very difficult, but I was determined to make changes.

First, I had the chronically messy house. I wondered how my neighbors, their housework done, were outside visiting and watching their children play by 10 a.m. I was spending the whole day indoors "working" and still had a messy house! My solution to this problem was to force myself not to leave a room until it was clean. I still remember how it felt to stay at the sink washing dishes, day after day, when I longed to be elsewhere, doing other things. I remember how it felt to not allow myself to leave the bedroom until the bed was made and the room picked up. But it worked. Eventually I was able to keep our house consistently presentable.

My husband's insistence that we have a cleaning service once a week also helped. Being freed of the boring, repetitious tasks of housecleaning meant I could maintain enthusiasm for the rest that needed to be done. Why had I been so resistant to hiring help? I now know that I felt threatened, believing that hiring help to do what most women did without help was further proof of my inadequacies. Now I think delegation is a great coping technique! .......... I read many books on becoming organized, and I slowly put some of the ideas into place. I was tired of getting dressed to go someplace, only to discover that my outfit had a spot, was missing a button, needed to be hemmed, etc. I would rush to put on something else, only to discover that it, too, had some problem that made it unpresentable. I was running late to start with and not being able to immediately find something to wear was making me even later. Time was wasted, my anxiety level soared and my self-esteem plummeted as I tried on one thing after another, rushed down to the iron or sewing machine, or just gave up and wore it as it was, hoping no one would notice. I remember my well-put-together sister commenting that I had nice clothes in the closet, but that I never got them on.

It amazes me how far I have come. I now have a board in my closet with cup hooks on it that my necklaces hang from! Doesn't that sound orderly? My scarves are neatly folded in a clear plastic box.. Nylons with runs in them are discarded. Everything in my closet is ready to wear, and I have a choice of appropriate clothing. The mad, frantic and pathetic dash to get ready is gone. I don't miss it. Now the excitement and the adrenaline rushes in my life usually come from fun, esteem-building activities.

When I started working, my major concern was how would I get dinner for my family. I remember mentioning this to my co-workers, and they looked astonished. Apparently, meal preparation was not a problem for them! But for me, it was a major concern. My mode of operation until then was to not think about what was for dinner until dinner time and then make a mad dash to the store. How could I do that if I didn't get through with work until 5 p.m. and we usually ate by 6:30 p.m. Again, a change was in the works. It was like death to force myself to sit down and plan the meals for a week every Saturday morning, and then go to the store and buy what was needed. But experiencing the difference that the meal planning and weekly shopping made in my life motivated me to make this new behavior part of my repertoire.

Years ago during the national gas crisis, I learned to plan my errands---what was the most logical route to use, what would be the most gas-efficient way to get everything done. During that time I learned to get prepared for my errands, so that if I were buying window shades I would have the windows measurements with me when I went to the store. I know it sounds laughable, but my earlier self would be in the midst of buying shades, deep in discussion with the salesperson, when I would realize that I didn't know what size I needed.! I made lists of errands and made sure I had what I needed to make the errands successful before leaving the house., e.g., a sample of the screw I needed four more of, the exact light bulb I needed to replace in the refrigerator, a sample of fabric that I wanted the paint to match. I had finally learned that I couldn't count on my memory to remember these small details. I learned to use the phone more, prior to going in-person. Did the store have what I needed? Was it in stock? Could they hold it for me at the check-out counter as I would be in around 3 p.m. for it. All these techniques made parts of my life easier and made me feel like I was more competent and capable.

Getting the diagnosis of ADD and having a medicine that works for me has really impacted and improved how well I manage. After my diagnosis, there were many more coping techniques I was able to institute. My husband, coming from a Germanic household, is fond of saying, "A place for everything, and everything in it's place." You can imagine how often he was saying that around our house! Fortunately, he is a very tolerate guy. But now I, too adopted this slogan, if we exclude the pile of assorted stuff that quietly accumulates on a kitchen counter, no matter how much I discourage it . If things, inadvertently, get left out over the course of the day, I make a night time cruise of the house to tidy up before going to bed. How reassuring to wake up to a house where "Alles ist in ordnung!"

My mother-in-law was one of those clean-as-you-go cooks! You could never tell any meal was even in preparation! Whereas I would be using every pot and pan and have every counter covered with dirty utensils before we sat down to eat. Our kitchens, in those days, never had enough counter space. When I read a letter to Dear Abby asking her what she thought of a homemaker who stuck dirty dishes in the oven to get them out of the way, I thought, what a great idea! I maintained that it was more efficient to do all the clean up at once. But I have slowly learned to be a clean-as-you-go cook and it has made a world of difference.

Training myself to always put my credit card back in a certain place in my wallet was worse than training a seal to balance a ball on it's nose. But not holding up a line of people at the store or have the saleslady give me a long, consoling look while I frantically search my purse and wallet has made the effort worthwhile. I have a special place for my keys in my purse, and a special place in the front hall closet where I always, (well, almost always), put my purse when I arrive home. There is extra medicine in my desk drawer at work, so I have a second chance to take it if I leave home without taking it. I have envelopes and deposits slips in my desk at work so I can mail in my paycheck as soon as I receive it. (We don't have direct deposit at my workplace, and, can you believe it, I was frequently losing my paycheck.) If something is a problem for me now, with medication and the diagnosis I have the confidence that I can solve it with ingenuity and determination.

Brian Howell read somewhere that ADD people have power brains, not speed brains. This concept gives me the confidence that I can solve my problems, once I give them my full -focused attention., followed up with my ADD perseverance. It's like I give my problems the old one-two.

I use a planning calendar--one big enough to write enough stuff in, but small enough to fit in my large purse. A planning calendar is really useful, but only if you have one that you record everything on and it is with you at all times. My planning calendar has additional pages for making lists of things you want to do or ideas you may have. I learned to make lists a long time ago, but often I lost the list and would need to make another, frequently forgetting items that had been on the earlier list. This would bug me no end. But having the list in the back of my calendar planning book gives it a special place to be until I am ready to tear it out.

Do I make it sound like everything in my life is great, that ADD is no problem, that, in fact, I love having ADD. No way! It is a continual, and continuing struggle. But recognizing and labeling my ADD behaviors has been tremendously helpful. Some of my troubling behaviors I can overcome or minimize with coping or compensating techniques; while others will probably always be there to annoy me, no matter how much or what I try. But now some of my ADD behaviors bring humor and laughter. There are innumerable times I say to myself, "How could I be so dumb when I'm not even blonde?" (Sorry, I couldn't resist.) These are the same dumb behaviors that I tried to keep hidden all those years. Now I laugh at most of the glitches in my life because I have created enough areas where I know I am functioning well.